As a Therapist, one of the most common concerns I hear from clients is the struggle to set healthy boundaries—not just with family or romantic partners, but with friends.

Friendships are meant to be supportive, uplifting, and safe. But without clear boundaries, even close friendships can become draining or unbalanced. Setting boundaries with friends is not about creating distance—it’s about building respect, clarity, and stronger connections.

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What Does It Mean to Set Boundaries in Friendships?

Boundaries are the limits and expectations you set for yourself and others. They define what feels respectful and safe to you. In friendships, boundaries might include:

• Saying no when you don’t have the energy to go out.
• Limiting late-night texts or calls.
• Asking for space when you need time to recharge.

When you practice healthy boundary setting, you protect your mental health and strengthen the foundation of your friendships.

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Signs You May Need Better Boundaries with Friends

• You feel guilty for saying “no.”
• You often put your friend’s needs before your own.
• You leave interactions feeling drained or resentful.
• Your values or personal limits are being crossed.

If these feel familiar, it may be time to start working on healthier boundaries.

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5 Therapist-Recommended Tips for Setting Boundaries with Friends

1. Reflect on Your Needs

Notice what feels uncomfortable in your friendships. Do you need more space, respect for your time, or a balance in giving and receiving support?

2. Communicate Clearly and Kindly

Use “I” statements to express your needs without blame. For example:

• Instead of: “You always call me at bad times.”
• Try: “I feel distracted when I get calls during work. Can we catch up after 6pm instead?”

3. Be Consistent

Follow through on the boundaries you set. Consistency shows that your needs are important and helps friends learn to respect them.

4. Let Go of the Guilt

Healthy friendships allow space for both people’s needs. Remember—setting limits doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you honest.

5. Expect Some Discomfort

Change can be hard, and friends may need time to adjust. Stay firm but compassionate, reminding them that boundaries are about keeping the friendship strong.

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Why Healthy Boundaries Improve Friendships

When you set healthy boundaries in friendships, you’ll notice:

• More balance – support goes both ways.
• More authenticity – you can be yourself without resentment.
• More sustainability – friendships last longer when they don’t drain your energy.

Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re bridges to stronger, healthier relationships.

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Final Thoughts from a Therapist

As a therapist, I view boundaries as essential self-care. They protect your well-being and allow you to show up as your best self in friendships.

If you’re struggling with boundary setting, know that you’re not alone. Therapy can help you build confidence, practice communication skills, and strengthen your relationships.

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Looking for support with boundaries and healthy relationships? As a Therapist, I specialize in helping clients improve communication and build stronger connections. Contact me today to schedule a consultation.

Written By: Holly Hintz, LCSW-QS